Welcome to my humble abode! (Please try not to break anything.)

mansion

Hello, fellow humans, and welcome to my humble abode! Please, sit down and make yourselves comfortable, unless deconstructing the Patriarchy makes you inherently uncomfortable (in which case you are free to leave, or – should you have an open mind – to stay and enjoy a cocktail or soft drink, while perhaps broadening  your horizons). It’s up to you. We’re all about choice here at Madam Killjoy’s Mansion. All we ask is that you, dear readers (i.e.  guests in our domicile) behave in an appropriate manner.

Just so we’re all clear, this is a feminist blog. Oh no, don’t go; not yet! Being a feminist does not make Madam a Nazi (I mean, really, does anyone have any knowledge of impending concentration camps? if so, please, do tell). Madam’s feminism also does not make her a Boner-Killer, per se, as she is, after all, an admitted killjoy. Madam is actually just a straight, white, fairly privileged, progressive woman who has actually inspired her fair share of actual boners! Whew. Now that the penis-kissing necessary to being taken seriously is out of the way, Madam declares that it is high time for women to stand up against the global oppression that is, quite literally, killing us: i.e. the Patriarchy.

SIDEBAR NUMERO UNO:

Dear “Oppressed” Menfolk Who Feel Compelled to Bitch:

1) I suggest you quit your bitching while you are still ahead in the game (i.e. earning more bread for the same work, et cetera, ad nauseam). I DO NOT HATE YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU POSSESS A PENIS! Actually, I don’t hate you at all. I happen to have a husband, whom I happen to love and who also just happens to possess a penis. Also, I actually like, as dear friends, many penis-possessors. I also “like” many other men, such as certain athletes and celebrities (we’ll name names later), in a sexy kinda way. Yes, I am a feminist and I enjoy sex. A lot. For real. Go figure!

2) I have no interest in your whiny-ass complaints about the perceived and/or actual erosion of your privilege! So unless you have something useful to say about the second-class status of women on this here planet — regardless of your gender, actually — please, keep it to yourself and go enjoy some other blog that better supports your views. In other words: You don’t need to see my identification. I’m not the droid you’re looking for. I can go about my business. And you can move along.

SIDEBAR NUMERO DOS:

Note to women: I DO NOT HATE YOU EITHER! I hate the Patriarchy and what it has done to you. My problem is with the way our culture turns you into consumable and disposable objects, not with you personally. Should I express my abhorrence of the sex industry, for example, it does not mean that I abhor you should you happen to work in said industry. If I dare express my distain for high heels, it does not mean that I dislike you for donning a fabulous pair of fuck-me pumps. Capisce? In other words, let’s agree to disagree, respectfully. We acknowledge that sex-industry-working and high-heel-wearing women have just as much right to pontificate on the Patriarchy as does Madam. In fact, we look forward to your opinions.

IN CONCLUSION:

Ultimately, I would like this to be a safe space for human beings with all sorts of actual issues and real ideas for changing women’s lives for the better. I would also like men to listen for once. Not just “hear,” but actually STFU and LISTEN, and ask yourselves how you might feel if you had to walk a mile in our (possibly high-heeled) shoes. I would also like to be under the sea, in an octopus’ garden in the shade. I know it ain’t gonna happen, but one must have something toward which she aspires.

*FYI: Madam’s interests are not limited to feminism and calling “shenanigans!” on the The Man. She also enjoys cooking, adores eating AND is quite fond of fuzzy animals – her own poodle in particular. To put it simply, this blog may, on occasion, contain recipes! And cute pictures! And other things to distract us from the grim realities of living in a Patriarchal society! Such as this:

Lucy-Bows

Published in: on June 10, 2009 at 22:23  Leave a Comment  
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