Give Me The Keys: You are too fucked up to drive.

Keep Your Eyes on the Road, Asshat!

While Madam is no fan of biological determinism (as its primary purpose seems to be propping up “boys will be boys” bullhockey), she is beginning to wonder if maybe the Men who keep trotting out that tired old saw about how they cannot think about anything other than sex (and sports, and boobs and more sex) might just be onto something.

What, you ask, could possibly cause Madam to speculate that maybe men are just shitty assholes, biologically determined to do little more than pass on their crappy seed whilst blowing shit up and killing each other, due to all that raging testosterone?

Her response: Why, the most recent political sex scandals, brought to you this time by the Republican Party, silly! It seems that two more holier-than-thou My Marriage Will Be Destroyed if The Gays Are Allowed to Wed Conservatives have admitted to putting their penises where they most certainly did not belong – if one truly believes in the Holy Sanctimony of Marriage – i.e. into women who are not their wives.

In other words, concerning all the antifeminist yahoos out there who actually believe that men and women are so vastly biologically different – in terms of temperament and expectations of behavior – well, the only conclusion Madam can reach is one with which these same folks should agree: Men shouldn’t be in charge of anything, ever, with the possible exceptions of lawn maintenance and making babies with as many ladies as possible. Period. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Seriously, Dudes, hand over the keys. Give. Me. The. Keys. You are way too high to be operating heavy equipment – you know, like positions of leadership – if you’re letting your little head do most of the thinking.

If men think about sex every seven seconds (a bullshit statistic if ever there was one) and if “boys will be boys” really means “men are just assholes who cannot control themselves,” then it is seriously time for women to be in charge of, well, pretty much everything.

You can’t have it both ways, people. You can’t say, “Gee, men like sex so much that everything in the mother-fucking universe must revolve around their God-Given and/or Natural Needs,” and in the same breath contend that they should be in charge of everything, let alone anything.

These Male Apologists are the same idiots who state, with a straight face (I’m looking at you, G. Gordon Liddy), that, you know, women bleed and it makes them crazy because of their raging Female Hormones. And, as Sir Killjoy points out, those who align themselves with the Righteous Right tend to apologize for their transgressions against marriage not just to the public at large, but to God Himself (unlike those Heathen Liberals who deserve impeachment), making their sins a-okay in this “Center Right Christian Nation.” King Davids don’t resign.

The Party of “Family Values” is bleeding on the sidewalk while their staunchest supporters keep saying, “Move along, folks. There’s nothing to see here. Move along.”

And Madam is just fine with that.

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